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September 26th, 2008
September 21st, 2007
10:58 pm - All grown up
So tonight was my first nite of circle of friends. Which I should explain. Me and Shawn are joining a church in our neighborhood so that we can meet more people here in Cary because we really don't know too many people that live within a 20 mile radius of us other then Jason and becky and then the people I work with. So with the church they have a group of ladies in their 30's and 40's that get together once a month and have a girl's nite. Well tonight was my first time there and it was really nice and relaxing and very enjoyable but it did make me realize I'm all grown up. Not like I didn't realize this before with having a house mortgage and bills that kind of meant I was grown up but I think I realize that my friends now have kids and families just like me. Well minus the kids right now but I really have to say it is so refreshing to have someone to hang out with that isn't trying to figure out which bar to go out to tonight. A nice relaxing nite with the girls with laughs and giggles and many stories. I have to say I really like being a grown up!
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September 12th, 2007
09:54 pm - Wow
Ok tonight I offically realized that I'm growing older. I have not hit the 31 mark and am very happy in my life. But I have realized I am not who I use to be anymore. I don't miss djin or going out to bars really except once in a great while, and that I don't really look forward to planning out my weekends with partying and all that goofy stuff. Don't get me wrong Ive never been an over partier but I am really happy and content with just hanging out at home for the weekend. Actually I look forward to it.
Also if you have me on myspace I'm giving you a fair warning that I'm thinking about deleting it. I really don't comment on it and I don't have the time to do the bulletin's. I much perfer to use Live journal its quick and easy.
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July 30th, 2007
06:32 pm - Yes I am alive
Hello there Strangers. Yes I am still alive and doing well actually. I took a break from livejournal for a while to take some time for myself, and journal on my own. I had a lot to journal about after my dad passed away that wasn't really meant for here so I did it in my own little private world. Plus if anyone ever read the journal they would probably lock me up and throw away the key. But a year and a half later I'm alive and actually doing pretty good. Things in my life are pretty much the same. I'm still with Shawn and we still live together in our little house, we have a the dog packy and the cat still, only thing that changed is I left Yankee Candle and am working at Mortgage Company full time. I only really plan on staying there a year to get my experience in an office then hope to move to a smaller company. But other then that things are good and Yes I will be posting in here more.
Take care!
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May 7th, 2006
11:10 pm - Damn a Slap in the face
Tonight I found out the Company I dj for replaced me with out even saying anything to me. I know I have not been around to do gigs and stuff but come on UM I'VE HAD SOME STRESS IN MY LIFE DUH! I mean shit you lose a parent to suicide and its like WHAM everyone is gone. Well not everyone but a big handful of people. They understood I was dealin with alot of stuff and all, and they know everything that happened I mean shit they came to the furneal and stuff. But with out saying a word to me WHAM your replaced. I guess it just hurts because I thought of these people like family. I know they aren't bombarded with gigs because alot of them I had gotten for them Oh well. SO LONG time to say ADIOS! Just another day another dollar.
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May 3rd, 2006
01:09 am - Its 1 A.M.
Its 1 a.m. and I can't sleep for shit. I have been having issues in the last week with sleep. Where I finally fall asleep at 5 in the morning and wake up at 9 and go on with my day. I know alot of it has to do with the nightmares and stuff that I have been having and I just tell myself that if I don't sleep I'll be alright but I know eventually I'll wear myself out.
Thursday I am going to see the WILL. I have not seen it at all because a certain someone is keeping it from everyone so I have a lawyer in Rockford that is pulling it up for me from the Court house and me and Mellie are going to sit down and look at it. Nita claims everything goes to her but I just know in my heart she is playing games like she always does. I was really hoping Shawn could go with me but because he can't Mellie is going to go with me instead. I just can't bear to think I need to go look at this alone. I don't know if I would be able to handle it. Plus it will give me and mellie time to hang out saying now she works nights and i work whenever we only get to see each other every few weeks. Between her and Shawn, and Nettie I don't know how I would of gotten thru the last 4 months. Damn 4 months already hard to believe. Well with me stepping down with Yankee Candle it really took a hit in my paycheck :-( I know that I am fine but I just get irritated because I worked so hard to get where I was and I gave it all up, but I did that more for my sanity for anything. Between losing my dad and Chuck (step dad) going thru Radiation I needed to have some kind of calmness in my life. But I have decided to start my own E-Bay store to make alittle extra spending money. Speaking of Flordia I am leaving a week from Thursday to go see my mom. I am going to spend Mother's Day with her. I can't wait because I need her more now then ever. I am actually taking my grandma with me it shall be interesting flight. But anyways, Right now I am going thru my counseling and stuff and its the intense 8 week program for suicide surviors that we found thru the LOSS Program. It sure does stir up alot of emotions, some good and some bad. But you gotta get thru all those to get where you need to be to get back on the healthy track. Bad thing is though I am gaining my weight back. I hate that but right now I gotta take care of me and not worry bout if I gain another 15 pounds. That is why i think it will be good for me to go see my mom and just take sometime for me. Me and Megan are going to hang out on Friday nite. A girl's nite out I don't know what that is like anymore. Because I'm always alittle apprehensive of going out with out Shawn or something because I don't know I guess fear of losing him in my life too.
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April 21st, 2006
11:26 am - August 12th and 13th 2006
As some may know I lost my father to suicide on Jan. 16th, 2006. Well me and my family have decided to do this walk in his honor.So I am just asking if anyone would like to support us in this cause it would be gladly appreciated. Thank you.
It means more the anything to me to help people like me and my family at this time.
here is the website if your interested in donating.
The website is www.theovernight.org
If you would like to donate you can donate to the team or to myself and the Team is TEAM JD, and my full name is Lisa Osbern
Thank you this means the world to me you can read my story on the website.
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April 14th, 2006
05:13 am - Wow Its been awhile
Damn things have really changed in my life since Jan. 12th. I didn't realize it had been that long since I posted in here. Oh well. Time to update. What you don't realize in life is that everything can change at a drop of a hat in your life and your world never seems the same again. On Jan. 16th my life changed forever and there is no going back. I lost my dad to a suicide. It took us all by shock and I know that there are still some days where I truly don't believe this is happening to me. He was someone that YOU WOULD NEVER GUESS! to do something like this but like they say you never know what is going on thru someone's head except your own. And sometimes in the last three months I don't think I even know what is going on in my head. Since then I have moved to Cary with my boyfriend, and best friend Shawn. He has been by my side thru this whole journey. We have been good friends for 4 years and we use to date, and I finally woke up and realized how much this person cared for me. DING DING DONG THE DOORBELL RANG!He is amazing, to deal with me and my crazy chaotic family. I truly didn't know what I had in front of me the whole time but I'm glad that I woke up to what was right under my nose. He truly is my godsend.
I step down from my position at Yankee and went back to being an Assistant instead of a Store Manager, just because of all the stress that is going on in my life. Between Moving, dealing with everything with my dad, and trying to figure out the piece's to the puzzle of life, I just could not deal with being the boss to 10 people. I couldn't manage my own life much less a store so I am not starting on Monday going to be Assistant Manager in Deer Park. I have mixed emotions but I know it will all go well. I know that it will give me more time to spend with my family which seriously I need now more then ever. I didn't realize how much family really meant till you lose the one thing that meant the most to you.
I am actually excited to be going on Vacation for Mother's day to Flordia with my Grandma. It will be me and her and my mom which will be good for all of us. Because in the middle of all this chaos my step dad is going thru Radiation for Prostate Cancer. So it will help both me and my mom spend time together, and also my grandma is getting older and I don't really know how much time I have left with her so I want to spend whatever I can with her. Then I come back from a long weekend in flordia to go back three weeks later with Shawn for a Trade Show he is going to for work but we are going to go early to do something touristy things and spend time with my mom and step dad, and then while he is at the Trade Show I'll be able to spend sometime with my mom and my friends.
BTW I'm growing my hair out and it is acutally hits my shoulders now YAY! so things for me are going ok and I'm getting back to a swing of things in life. I hope all is well with everyone and take care.
I know I'll be back to updating alittle more here.
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January 12th, 2006
11:27 pm - i know
I know i have not wrote anything in here in along ass time, just been very busy with work, school and well family and more work. my life right now is very content but busy as hell. I have my own store that i'm at and then I bought a new car.I'm dating a great guy we will see how that works. he is 28 has his shit together and well treats me really good. Its funny how we both want the same thing so who knows how it will go. Just wanted everyone to know i"m still alive!
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September 18th, 2005
03:16 am - My Update
Well things have been crazy in the life of Lisa for the last few months. I have been working Ungodly hours, which is my choice but all the hard work payed off and I got my OWN STORE. I became manager in Gurnee on Monday I can't remember the date but it will be a week this monday. I am back in school on top of it all and plus we are doing a few different DJ jobs so life is keeping me pretty busy. The love department is going kind of no where well kind of I dont know how to put it. I am actually seeing myself getting back into a LDR. Oh fun I know lol. But not with Chris but with a guy I know from down in Daytona. Things are kind of sketchy but when I go down later in the Fall we will see where things are going to go. Chris and me have been talking and it makes things alittle bit easier to let go of the anger, but I'm not too sure about the moving on with my feelings that is why i'm not pushing for anything in my life right now. I know I need this contact with him but I also know it will make moving on just alittle bit harder. He is feeling alittle better I guess, but I'm not really sure if he is telling me that just to make me happy, I can tell in his voice things are not all that great.But I think I will be going over to England at the first of the yeat. Hell I have a free place to stay and well I get to drive his car lol. So it would not be too expensive. We will go over to Ireland if everything works out all right That is a BIG IF, I go. Not sure if its such a good idea but we will see where emotions are and how he is feeling at that point. They are saying that he is at a 70% chance of beating this so I just pray it will all work out. Even with all the anger and hurt I had for him, I can't be mad at him. He just did what he thought was easy for us all, even thought when we look back at everything we wish we did things competely different. He wishes that we would of just went with the Fiance visa and he would be here by now. But you can't turn back time and you can't change what already has happened so we just have to move on with our lives. I just know that no matter what I have him to turn too.
I have been doing alot of thinking for the past few months and I'm going to be making a few changes in my life. I want to be a better person and I know that those changes are going to make things in life alittle different but I know in the end it will all be good. One of the things I'm doing is when I move which will be in March or August to be closer to my store its a 45 minute drive right now so I know that I want to move closer. I might be buying a house or townhouse and they are pretty reasonable up in the Gurnee/Kenosha area. But I know if I move that I will be looking to meet new people to hang with. Not that anything is wrong with the old ones just I don't ever see anyone anymore and kind of hoping to have some more people to hang with along with the old friends.
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September 11th, 2005
03:16 am - Say a prayer
Ok I know I haven't been around and i know I need to up date alot of info on myself, but I need to vent. Sorry if you don't wanna read this. But last nite Friday Chris yes the ex im's me to talk to me, we talk and he tells me he has stomach cancer, how do i deal with that of all things. I want to be angry with the guy but i can't. I can't bear to think of him hurting and in pain it kills me inside, today I have been kind of out of it with all this going thru my head. I loved and still do have love for this man I just am completly totally frustrated. Why does all the good people have to deal with shit, when we have people out there killing people that dont' have to deal with SHIT.
Please if you know mine and chris's story you know its a complicated and long journey but keep him in your prayers.
thank you.
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September 4th, 2005
10:38 pm - Decision - in my life
Decision
Made a decision in my life today. From now on going forward, if your involved in my life our relationship is a TWO WAY STREET. I'm tired of being the pleaser and doing what everyone wants. I would like some gratitude in life as well. Its not just something that has started happening its been going on for most of my life. I get in these realtionships in life with friends, family and men that it all boils down to them and when i need or ask for assitance there is no one there. So I'm walking on with a new path and its going to be a two way street if the people in my life don't care well then they can kiss my ass!
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August 27th, 2005
09:34 pm - Myspace
hey all i have created a myspace account and am actually thinking of letting go of live journal. i find myself never using it.
plus its free with fun graphics.
If you all have myspace add me.
:-)
http://www.myspace.com/angeloftheocean
That is my link for myspace. Hope to see you all there.
Lisa
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August 8th, 2005
07:46 am - Kick
If I kick him in the butt will it make things better lol. UGHHHHHHH MEN DRIVE ME NUTSO!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/stars/bitchy.gif) annoyed
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August 7th, 2005
08:43 pm - Weekend
Was a really good weekend here, I went out with Brian and some friends again on Friday, we had a good time. We actually had a BLAST!, went to a bar out here called Temptations.
Saturday, was working in Gurnee, and then drove out to Rockford. Hung out with Mellie, we always have a good time. We had a long talk on life and what is going on with each other. I can say I am thankful to God that she is in my life. Sometimes I wonder where I would be if I didn't have a best friend like her. Funny thing is we are so opposite in life but the best thing that has ever happened to each other.
Got to see my Tracy, and the babies. I miss them :-)
Things are going good, just busy.
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07:48 pm - Sometimes-
Do you sometimes feel that maybe people are brought into our lives for a reason, or just for a short time because you need to realize something?
Just curious.
Having a hard time dealing with something, nothing major, just wondering how and why people do the things they do?
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August 4th, 2005
09:48 pm - Oh ya
Beening talking to Chris alittle bit, and all, its kind of weird we have been talking about our dating siuations and stuff. He says he wishes we could be together but I'm not going to play this he is coming here game with him again.
But i guess he went on a date and he said that she told him that he needs not to call her Lisa again. lol
I think that is funny.
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09:43 pm - I'm alive
I'm alive, things are just crazy. Working Working, I gave up my day off on Saturday and going to work 10 days staight. What am I crazy lol.
Hey its money right lol.
Well I have to admit I am seeing someone. I have been seeing him for a little bit, at first it was we will see each other and others if we want to be, and we did, but now its to the point that we might just as well just date each other only. So things are going good, I think. We hung out with some friends last nite and he told my friend that his feelings are growing. YA i think, I'm scared to get real serious so we are takin this one day at a time. He is a youngin though and a Dj as well. Plus he lives in Joliet/Cresthill, so when I move, booty wont' be so far lol.:-)
Its still a secret lol. Kidding, just don't wanna get all excited too much.
Talked to the realtor the other day they ran my credit check. YIKES lol. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be but still not the greatest. So we will see what they can pull out of their ass for me.
Wish me luck, otherwise I'll be living in an apartment again lol.
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July 25th, 2005
10:00 pm - Thinking
Ok I've been doing some pondering on what I'm going to do, either buy a new car or put money down on a townhouse. I was preapproved I found out today to get a Car. Which I kind of sort of need. My car being a 99 has 105,000 miles on it,and is paid off. But is still running pretty good, other then having to get Two new tires on it and getting 2 sets of struts on it with an alignment included. Which all together will cost me about 1200 dollars. My dad asked what I wanted for my birthday and I said two new tires for my car so that does save me some money. Which is good, but the struts is the most expensive part of all of this.
I am just concerned that if i keep my car that one of these days its just going to die on me and then I'm screwed. lol.
But yet I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO tired of living in apartments after apartments. I'm actually making really good money right now, and well maybe nto all that really good, but better then I ever have and I am getting a second job here in the next few weeks, plus djing. I have looked into Townhouses and Condo's in the area I have to move too for my job that is transfering me (possibly) in Joliet/Plainfield and I can afford to buy a townhouse or condo. So I'm debating on which one I should do. I didn't think my Credit was good enough to do either but I guess I was wrong. So we will see what I am going to do. I hate being a GROWN-UP lol.
Funny thing- tonight after the big storm there was a big water fountain coming from the ground and I was taking Packy out for a walk. He decided to play in it. It was soooooo cute ( granted it was all muddy) But he was having a blast and poor guy was stuck in the house all day so I was all for him playing. Granted he got a bath as soon as we walked in the door.
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July 20th, 2005
09:08 am - Wow
I had a really good weekend in Indiana. It was fun. I even got to do a helicoptor ride. I loved it. I have always wanted to get my pilot's license and stuff so it was quiet interesting to be able to do.
I have a feeling that I might be staying in my store till after Christmas. Which is not a bad thing, but just makes the getting a new car thing a little bit longer wait. I might get a second job just so i can possibly get a new car sooner.
Becky I miss you :-(
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